A ray of light. A brightness that fills the room. A little life that has sends so many sparks. Is it possible that Kaya is still in between worlds and teaching us that life is to be cherished every minute of every day? Is it good fortune that our hearts with warmth with this new life? Is it luck? Is it fate? It’s time to see the world through different eyes. Those who recognize the miracle of a new life. It sounds incredible that Kaya can enhance our world this way, but it’s true.

You are our sunshine, our only sunshine…you make us happy when clouds are grey…you’ll never know dear how much we love you…so don’t take our sunshine away.

Newborns. In my previous life, I almost didn’t acknowledge their existence much less appreciate them. Other people – far away people – have newborns. They are these scrunched up little beings with mysterious ways and loud screeches. With very little exposure to these creatures, I hadn’t realized that dealing with them can be a true art form.

Enter Kaya. He’s small. He’s furious. He cries so loud the nurses at the maternity ward come to check on us. What did we do with the baby? We were only changing his diaper! And so we begin our journey of discovering our own little newborn. A little observation and a lot of research (reading) later, I come to realize that I have given them and the Baby Whisperers among us far too little credit. After nine months in a dark, warm, cozy place where everything is provided for them, they enter a world that is cold, bright, and everything takes work – eating, pooping, moving. Enter doctors. They poke, the prod and make adapting to the new world even harder. What are they thinking?

In the first month of Kaya’s life, Patrick, my mother, and I realized just how exhaustive our world can be for our little ones. As tired as we mothers and fathers may be, our babies are much much more. So much to take in – sometimes it’s best just to close our eyes. Imagine we adults could do the same thing when the world was too much for us. Job too stressful? Yawn. Problems with the in-laws? Getting sleepy. War? Snore.

So what did I do in those sleepy months? Decided to go plain Jane like so many sleep and time deprived mothers of newborns. Hygiene – yes. Dressing – optional. Make up – definitely not. My mom bought a few long wrap around skirts (one size fits all) for me that were imported from India. That and my H&M tank tops saved me. Thought I would get major points from my ex-Hippie friends Tina and Court for my new style, but they were too far away to appreciate it.

Natural natural.

Yes, we are getting excited. Only 4 more weeks to go.

No, we are not ready. Still waiting on grandmommy Oya and nursery furniture to arrive, not to mention all that parenthood stuff!

No, we don’t have a name. Not a final one anyway, but we are close and we think it will start with a K.

Yes, we are getting nervous. Am I going to agree with friends who wanted to pop the baby back in?

Yes, I have seen him in my dreams. He looked a lot like Alpay (my brother) did as a baby only taller.

Yes, he kicks and moves a lot. There’s not enough space for him – he’s apparently pretty big.

Yes, I’m still working. Will stop right before mommy comes on May 15th.

Yes, Patrick is being a great prenatal dad. He buys us milk every night and attends every prenatal class.

Yes, we will have the baby in Shanghai. At a private clinic where many many expats have had their babies.

Yes, my doctor is Chinese and she’s young, modern, speaks excellent English and so smart.

No, baby K will not get Chinese citizenship. You need Chinese blood in China.

Yes, I did have a shower. It was through work and they got us exactly what we asked for – very cool.

Yes, I will get maternity leave. 4 months.

Yes, we are going to try to go natural – on everything from birth to breastfeeding. Cross your fingers!

Yes, he will be loved. The first grandchild of my side of the family. The second on Patrick’s. He will have many ‘aunties and uncles’ all over the world. What more could a guy ask for?