Made it to the brunch. Made it to my hair appointment. Made it to pick up the kids. Made it to the playground. Just barely made it home. Crashed.
Made it to the brunch. Made it to my hair appointment. Made it to pick up the kids. Made it to the playground. Just barely made it home. Crashed.
I’m writing this now out of pure dedication to my writing commitment. Was woken up by 3 kisses and 1 “I love you, Mommy” so I can’t really complain about the fever and general sense of paralysis all over my body. First time it’s happened to me this sickly sickly winter. Tomorrow it’s supposed to jump up to 20C. In honor of my dear friend’s 40th birthday and a brunch that I will have to miss.
I read some interesting blogs today on gatekeeper moms and thoroughly agree with the advise. Back when my husband told me that he’s not the stay-at-home type, I should have said “me too.” Then the childbearing decision would have probably gone differently but we may have reached more balance. Instead, like many women, I was working full time but thought I could manage it all. Now I call myself the “accidental full-time mom.” Where was all this advice then?
Fever. Swollen glands. I’m wearing 5 layers and shivering in bed. Yoga session this AM hasn’t served this sickly body well. How was I to know though? Since November various constellations of family members have been ill but I was the little engine that could (not stop). Ok stopping now. Halt. Bed. Sleep.
Today I had a talk with my mom. She said, “I think you will do something with your brain.” Confused, I asked her “as opposed to what?” She answered, “you won’t be doing something physical.” My inner cynic said “well yeah, I think I can rule out Sledgehammer Operator.” But as it turns out, she was ruling out yoga, teaching, and other things where your body/presence is in the forefront. Hm. She asserts that I follow the lineage of my father – concentrated, inwardly, and analytic in style – rather than that of my mother – outreaching, expressive, and dynamic. And I see myself as a mix of both, but maybe I have misjudged some of my traits, because I do, in truth, love writing and being immersed in my own thoughts. So here I am, back to the blog.
I am more relaxed today. I coincidentally came upon and re-read a letter filled with wise words of advise sent to me by a friend a year ago. It came on the heels of a long conversation we had about my lifestyle and the imbalance thereof: over-time mom/wife and no-time yogi, communication expert, volunteer conflict manager, global friend, and critical thinker.
Take your time is what she told me. I’m going to use this next year to research the possibilities I have and see what is “out there for me.” Accomplishments today: I looked at IDEO’s website, signed up for TED’s blog, and requested my first ever google scholar alert. I registered to do my company’s taxes online. I sent my friend’s a link to the Ban Bossy campaign, as I think it can relate to her Girls Gearing Up summer camp for future female leaders. I also finally downloaded the “What Does the Fox Say” youtube video for my kids and showed my mom how to dance “Gangham Style” – but it is debatable if the last two also count as accomplishments…
